Thursday, December 31, 2009

12/31/09: The Best Worst Columnist Ever.

Bob Hunter apparently does end of the season awards, and probably since none of us read much that he writes (since 90% percent is dedicated to pointyball or hockey or whatever), I guess he decided to give the Nordecke a backhanded compliment today by mentioning the Nordecke as both the best and worst fan section. I guess Mr. Hunter is trying his best to receive some attention from the Nordecke patrons. He succeeded, as Hunter is a fav. topic on facebook for Crew Nordecke types today, hooray for him. Here is what he wrote:

Best fan section: Nordecke, whose enthusiasm at Crew games is unmatched in the state, if not the nation.

Worst fan section: Nordecke, whose obscenity-laden chants have chased away some customers.

Look you cannot be the best and the worst at something.. Most people mastered that complicated logic by the third grade. So, Bob Hunter is being facetious about one or the other. Probably the first, as it was just used as a way to soften the blow, so you know what Nordecke we better listen to Mr. Hunter..

Lets just get rid of all swearing (well we have been trying and have scaled it down, but you know what the world won't be happy until there are zero swear words at a soccer game.. Football or elsewhere, fine. But soccer is for orange slices, just ask Jim Rome) and any type of intimidation, and instead when opposing players come into the corner lets hand them flowers and tell them how much we appreciate their competition. Look we get what you're saying Mr. Hunter, swearing at an OSU football game or a hockey game is fine, but soccer is for pussies.

And, I get it, Columbus is heavenly and evil swear words hurt the devine citizen's ears... But, we have cut down on swearing to a point where it was basically non-existant most of the second half of the year. And, honestly, in the end if we swear or do not it won't matter, because even when swearing is totally non-existant, we will be still called out for swearing or doing something wrong. First, it was throwing stuff, then it was a little fighting (I think like one punch, nothing compared to your usual OSU game), now it is swearing, next it will be because we are too loud, and finally that we are standing up and some asshole can't see. Well, we already have that problem with flags during the game, look if your in the Nordecke you should be down with it otherwise find a empty seat in the rest of the empty upper deck. Basically, Columbus writers will always find something wrong with the Nordecke, because it is seen as a threat to Columbus being just 99% percent Buckeye all the time, as writers such as Hunter or Oller probably want it. Further, we are trying our best to make everyone happy in the stadium.. And, to be honest, really the occasional swear word isn't that bad if you're not overly-sensitive. I mean I have seen babies and all types of kids of a very young age in the section. Yet, no one has called the child hotline and I bet these kids turn out just as normal or even more so since their parents haven't shielded them in a closet until 18:

And, seriously would a fricken teletubbie hang out in the Nordecke if it was the worse place in the world:

Come on!

Anyways, to be the best you have to build a certain atmosphere, and that atmosphere has certain things that might turn off a few ultra-conservative neo-sensitive families.. That's just a sad reality of making the buck, not everyone can be totally happy with your product. The Nordecke will try to make everyone happy, but even intensity isn't good for most sensitive families, so inevitably they will complain about that as well. And, you're not going to sell more tickets eventually if you ignore and don't cater to what excites the 18-34 year old male populace, the most important and coveted sports demographic (the ones most likely to plunk down on season tickets without a second thought), and that surely wasn't what was going on at Crew Stadium pre-2008. Also, there are no stated facts that the Nordecke is driving away truckloads of people. Really, you could probably count the people on one hand, where is this fact of people being driven away by the boatload? Mr. Hunter, do you have statistics? Oh, yeah, one or two nerds who wrote a letter to the Dispatch. I guess that means the Crew have lost thousands of fans. Honestly, I doubt the Crew would still have a team (we would be in Vegas) or at least be as paltry as FC Dallas without the Nordecke. I think the Nordecke has brought new life into what was a dead stadium in 2007. And, I bet you could point to that same Nordecke for bringing a lot of people in. I know I wouldn't be writing on the Crew every day and buying season tickets every year if it wasn't for that section being a part of it. The people in it love it there, it's to the point that it is an extension of them.. It's 24/7 365 Crew for these people. I'm proudly one of them and I personally can't wait until March 9th against Toluca and it isn't even January yet. And, I bet for every one person that has left, ten people have come in thanks to the Nordecke.

Also, if nobody has realized, the Seattle Sounders supporters (with 30,000 fans weekly) probably have the most offensive and stupid chant in my book as one of their favorites. A chant talking about taking someone up against a wall and shooting them:

Take em all,
Take em all,
Put em up against a wall and shoot em,
Short n tall, watch em fall,
Come on boys, take em all

Well, they seem to be doing alright.


  1. That was a childish reaction to that article. Don't hate on the columnist. Improve yourselves! Prove him wrong!!

  2. Lol, unless the columnist is god we don't really have anything to prove to him. And, I'm sure he will somehow cope.